11th and 12th of April - I'm never gonna get a boyfriend, I need to change..

Hey guuuuuurls! (I'm a gangsta! Haha)

Serious now... okay just a little retelling; Today at school, we were watching a movie, and Anna, Mary and Ella was sitting right next to me. So they were talking really loud (so annoying btw), and suddenly they start talking about Carol T and Matt. They were sitting like really close to each other and it looked like they were holding hands. And they were sitting really close to Anna, Mary and Ella too. And I can hear Anna, Mary and Ella talking about Carol and Matt (I'm pretty sure EVERYONE could hear them) and that they're holding hands and that it's mean because Carol has Jonah. Mary walks by them to see if they're actually holding hands, and to minutes after she leaves the room, I can hear Anna reading a text from her saying, that Matt has his hand on Carol's leg and it's nasty, or something. And I just got so angry!!! Because Matt has had his hand on Mary's leg a billion times even though SHE HAS A BOYFRIEND TOO!!! And I'm just like don't judge her, when you do the same thing! God I got angry with them. Grrrr! But well of course I was to damn week to tell them to shut up! But hey that's me..

Now to the more depressing part (Haha):
I'm not sure that I'll ever get a boyfriend :( I'm too annoying I guess (I am kinda annoying..). But it's like I only like a guy when I think he likes me, and then when he doesn't I get really sad even though I never really liked him. And okay let's see I know that 3 guys has liked me in the time I have been on earth. #1: Was the most gross and weirdest guy I know! Sam from my class. #2: A guy called Matthew from my school, and ugly, annoying and very hyper boy. He has liked a lot of girls, so I guess it wasn't because I was special or anything. #3: Matt from my class, he liked me about 6 months ago. He has liked so many girls, before me was Lily, Carol H and Sophie, that shows how much I meant huh? I was his freaking 3rd choice, that sucks!
And now this guy that I told you about yesterday, told me that he has a crush. I don't want to believe that it's me, cause I'll just be disappointed if it's not. But on the other hand, if it is me, I'm not gonna start dating him. And why not you might ask, well because I don't really have feelings for him, plus I haven't really had a real conversation with him in real life and then you can't know if you like a person, so it's probably not me. And well I'm not attracted to him. But I'm not attracted to anybody.. it sucks. Maybe I'm a lesbian (joke). Life would be easier if I was a lesbian! I mean, my opinion is that girls are easier to talk to and I think that almost every girl is pretty, while very few boys are hot.

Now I've probably made you all sad, with my depressing talk. But it's not a big deal, my life is fine without a boyfriend and since I've never had one I don't know what I'm missing out on. I just really want a boyfriend and my first kiss so I've done it! Jeez why does life have to be this haaard?!!!

I have good news! Tomorrow I'll post a video of me singing, and I would love you to comment on my voice, good or bad. I've never sung in front of anyone and I just need to know if I'm good or bad. So pleaaaase comment!!!!<3<3<3<3<3 And also please comment with tips you want me to do, questions you want me to answer or anything like that.
Love M.E<3