Hey there..
Today I went swimming with my sister and my uncle, and when I got home I watched glee. And after watching Glee, it was an episode about prom, I've gotten so desperate after a flirt or a boyfriend, just someone who I can do romantic things with and make out with. Seriously I just want it so bad, but I don't know anyone who I can imagine as my boyfriend. What do I do? I really need to go to a party where I hardly know anybody, that way I might meet a boy who I might fall in love with. Or I might not.. but I don't know until I've tried it. I just feel so lonely, and of all the days I have lived, I've only so far used less than an hour kissing and that is almost a half year ago.. that's some depressing shit! I just want it so desperately, but I'm afraid nobody wants me and that I'll die alone with 50 cats. But since Christian I haven't seen anyone who I've wanted that way, and if I ever did see someone what are the chances he'll want me back? I mean look at me! I know so many girls who are waaay more attractive than me and they are also more interesting and cute, funny, sweet and all of that. So how am I ever gonna get a chance?? I'm also afraid that if I ever get a boyfriend or a flirt that the moment he meets some of my girlfriends (Carol H!) he will run away from me and straight to them without ever looking back. That's one of my biggest fears, getting rejected or have somebody else getting chosen over me. But I hope that it is all in my head, and that when I find the guy for me, he'll feel the same way about me and would never hurt me. I just hope my guy will find his way here a little faster, cause I miss him a lot in my life!! :'(
Love,
M.E<3
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